Parental Sex Education (1)

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“You better not get a girl pregnant”, my father scolded me

My father is a strict man, you dare neither question him, nor query him, he’s the type of man that you must accept whatever he says without argument, whenever you try to argue, be ready to receive a slap that will make you see all the stars in the universe.

Whenever he told me that, I dare not tell him I don’t have a girlfriend, but just nod or say yes sir to his authoritative request. But that was all I kept hearing as a boy, anytime I walked with a girl and my mother sees me with her, it’s trouble and the aftermath will not be funny for me.

My mother also will scold me and threatened me whether I want to get a girl pregnant or I want to be a womanizer, then I have to explain the relationship between the girl and I, then I’ll believe it’s over, but little did I know that my mom would later inform my dad at night, in a bid for her to tell him to warn me about the way I walk with that girl in the street.

After having a sweet sleep, and immediately we finish family devotion, my father will call me on the hot spot, because I dare not seat on the hot seat, wahala, I must stand while he’s talking to me and only respond yes sir, or no sir or else I’ll regret ever walking with that my female friend the previous day.

I was just a boy that was trying to get through puberty, in my class then, majority of my friend had boyfriends and girlfriends which were not hidden to anyone of us and they even announce the ungodly things they do to each other, while some others have committed lots of abortion that time due to their source of sex education which was from our peer group.

All the sex education I received from my parent was always scolding, after the moment they see me with a girl, especially the one they don’t know.

I got myself into hot soup one day that I sent love and birthday card to a girl I liked and unfortunately for me, the girl out of anger brought back those cards to my mom’s shop months after I gave her, she just dropped it and left, lo and behold, it got into the hands of my mom, she didn’t even inform me that she saw something, but she took it to my father and the following morning, I received the beating of my life, my father being a teacher never lacked cain (ana) in the house, or better still, one must be in his car.

I always receive beating for showing love to a girl or for writing love letter to a girl I liked and showed interest in.

Since African parents believe talking about sex is a sacrilege, a taboo, and uncalled for, something that must not be discussed openly and it must never be discussed in the presence of the children. 1 or 2 centuries ago, it might be correct not to discuss sex in the open among children, but these days you cannot be so sure that a boy or girl or 4 years is not aware about one or two things about sex.

There are plenty boys and girls that have been misled into believing wrong information about sex, I was almost misled, I had a friend and a neighbour that almost got me into believing having sex with different girls was the right thing to do, but thanks to God that I wasn’t misled.

Let’s talk about Parental Sex Education, African’s mentality about sex education and the need for parents to teach their children sex education.

In this 21st century, information is growing rapidly, sex education is everywhere, good ones and the bad ones, but the bad ones are larger in number. Children are curious about sex and can get this information on the internet where they may be misled.

Sex education is one of the uncomfortable aspects of life that adults do not want to teach to their children. There are various reasons for that, and some parents may even choose to ignore the importance of sex education!

Some parents misunderstand the concept of sex education. They wrongly believe that it is only about issues relating to the sexual intercourse. They will be very surprised that this subject also covers social interactions, like: holding hands, shaking hands, tolerance, showing appreciation and hugging.

Sex information flies around everywhere, in the media, in school and with peers, therefore, parents need to instill correct concepts of sex in their children as early as possible before they are misled by peers or those that are looking for who to mislead.

As children grow up, they need to learn correct information on sex, when they are misled, they can go the wrong way and it will affect them for the rest of their live.

Children need to adapt at different stages of development to the physiological and psychological changes. Sex education learning goals vary with children’s age and environment.

They need adequate and ongoing advice and guidance. Parents are the core people who accompany their children as they grow up, so parents are also the most suitable person to provide sex education to their children. The earlier sex education is given at home, the earlier the children are able to develop correct sex concepts, and the easier the parents are able to handle the situation.

Many people see mother as the most ideal person to provide sex education; but in fact, father involvement is equally important. A son can learn the right role as a man from his father, while a daughter can learn the responsibilities of a man in his family and society from her father. She will also understand a woman’s expectations of others. Children will benefit greatly from all of these, and they will be able to interact with other people when they grow up.

Since sex education is important to children as they grow and if given by the right person, it will give the child the right information that will shape his/her life positively and it will open his/her eyes to false information on sex education that can be misleading. In the light of this, what are the Preconditions for Sex Education?

1. Understand sexual education. Understand your growing child’s psychological development and perplexity 2. Build a good parent-child relationship and establish a foundation for future interaction. Make sure you keep a warm and harmonious family atmosphere. Let children feel that they are being loved and cared for

Also cultivate children’s sentiments by encouraging them to take part in cultural activities such as drawing or music. Parents should participate in such activities as well to improve the relationship between parent and child

Lastly, provide opportunities for children to cultivate different interests and let them participate in group activities.

 …To be continued



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