Sex education is sacrosanct in an African home, it is seen as a taboo that must never be discussed in the home, if it must be discussed, it is believed that it must be done secretly between the father and the mother.
The child that talks about sex is seen as a spoilt child or that child is a flirt. Little did the parents know that these children are passing through a puberty stage where they discover their sexuality and they need to be educated on some certain things pertaining to their body or else they will be misled by peers who have learnt in a wrong place or they may be misled by the first person that teaches them sex education.
Why parental sex education? Parental sex education is important because of the high level of sexual immorality that is rampant in this present dispensation. The level of rape is on the increase, date rape is becoming more rampant, people that we trust most are predators to the younger ones, they harass and assault them sexually.
Fathers are also having sexual intercourse with their children, have they forgotten what the bible says about incest?
Let’s Talk about sex education (2) and examine people’s view on sex education.
It is important to know the kind of person that will teach your children sex education that is why the parents should give the first hand information on sex to their children.
What are the education skills and methods that we can use in teaching our children sex education?
Make sure that you choose the right time to ask your children questions and endeavour to produce correct answers. Give sex education in appropriate occasions, make sure you seize opportunities such as relevant TV programs to induce children to think and ask questions voluntarily. Avoid discussing sex with your children in the presence of other people.
Make sure you establish their confidence. Teach your children to have correct and enlightened views about sex, so that they can accept themselves and affirm their self-worth.
Remember that sex education is in different stages depending on the child’s age, use proper materials and keep up with time. Children these days are so intelligent that you can barely tell them lies about sex, understand the development of your children’s intelligence. As they grow up, you should provide more specific answers even for the same question to satisfy their quest for knowledge.
When you answer your children’s questions, you need to first clarify how much they know about this topic. Then give a brief answer using the words they understand, the ways of speaking and the tones that they are accustomed to
It is always good to establish a mutual trust with your children; it will encourage them to feel free to discuss anything with you concerning sex.
Share their conversations and laughter in order to understand their thinking and their culture. This may help improve the communication with your children on the subjects relating to sex. Share your children’s worries about sex and discuss with them the possible solutions. If you must rebuke them, rebuke them in love.
When your children ask you questions, answer their questions with an understanding attitude. Give clear and definite replies. Avoid commanding your children to obey your instructions. This may make them feel repugnant. Avoid using words that are offensive or may hinder communication, such as “How can you be so stupid?”
While you are answering them, reply their question on sex with correct answers. Do not make up answers to attempt to satisfy their curiosity.
“I wasn’t given sex education from home when I was growing up, the first time I heard about sex education was in school but when I finished secondary school, that was when my mum told me some things about sex, that time, I had already learnt virtually everything from school. The first time in heard about it from home was when I finished from secondary school.”
“I got some lies about sex when I was in school, like I was told by my classmates that whenever you get closer to a guy, you will get pregnant. It was scary and it affected my relationship with the opposite sex. This misinformation scared me away from relating very well with guys, but as I grew up, I learnt the truth and understand better.” – Chinyere Uduma
“My parents didn’t give me sex education, but my aunty taught me the things in know about sex education. She told me that as a lady, you should know how to keep your body. Immediately you start seeing your menstruation, you will get pregnant whenever you get have sexual intercourse with a guy.”
“Since I spent all my days with my aunty, she taught me everything I need to know about sex education.”
“Parents should teach their children sex education while they are young, it will make the children not to mess up and they will know how to protect themselves against sexual predators.” – Simeon Ruth
“I never had the privilege of being taught on sex education, I read from books on sex education, I learnt from my friend, especially my male friends while growing up.”
“I wasn’t misinformed in any way as they taught me the right things I need to know. I have no regrets that my parents didn’t teach me on sex education because they gave me opportunity to go and meet with friends.”
“My parents don’t even like talking about sex education, so I don’t think they would have been able to teach me anything, not because they don’t know it but because they don’t like talking about it.”
“My advice to parents in particular is that they shouldn’t be afraid of giving their children sex education because now it is very much important that your children know about sex.” – Miss Jennifer Takim
“I was given sex education by my parents and they gave me the right information about sex, I wasn’t misinformed. It helped me to be exposed to the outcome of what happens in the reality, in person of the opposite sex and how to control myself when I’m in some kind of situations. I wasn’t told any lie about sex.”
“When a child gets to the age of 16, parents should start giving them sex education. It is an obligation to parents to teach their children the moments they start discovering themselves. But when parents are harsh with their children, they tend to scare the children off from confiding in them.”
“It is right for parents to come out straight to their children at the stage they can understand things about sex. They should also get close to their children.” – Joshua Awotuezi
“Sex education is educating the child on what sex is all about from the puberty stage to the adult stage. My parents didn’t give me sex education because African parent see sex education as a wrong thing. They feel telling a child about sex education will make a child think about it at first, but not telling the children make the child to be rigid to the society, this boils down to the societal law.”
“I learnt sex education in school, sex education is now being taught in school under civic education. I wasn’t misinformed in any way, but stories that I heard, I had better knowledge of what it should be.”
“My advice to parents is that they should tell their children what they are expected to meet the moment you discover that your child behaving abnormally, especially the daughters.” – David Sureway
“Sex education is a situation where you teach your children about sex, my mum taught me about sex and helped me in a way I related with people.”
“When I first saw my menstruation, she told me what I should avoid, that when I meet a guy, I will get pregnant, I thought when a guy just touch me I will get pregnant, that made me to run away from guys because of my understanding of what my mum told me. Anytime I see a guy coming closer to me, I will start running; I didn’t know it is the other way round.”
“Parents should try and teach their children about sex especially their female children because they are likely to be more exposed to the society than male and also teach them to dress indecently which may attract unnecessary attention to them.”- Mrs Vivian Nwangu
“Sex education is a kind of advice given to children by their parents or guardians. It implies telling their children what they suppose know about sex, relationship and dating. It helps them fashions the lifestyle of any child positively.”
“But the problem we are having in Africa, and also in Nigeria is that parents don’t educate their children, thinking that they are too tender, that’s why the children made a lot of mistakes.”
“Once a child is up to 12 years, sex education should be given to such child.”
“I was given sex education by my parent, especially my mother. It helped me avoid some certain things and helped me plan my life up to this level.”
“I will advise parents that they should always try their best to give sex education to their offspring starting from the age of 12 years. It brings maturity in any child and it improves decision making.” – Onuegbu Chijioke
“Considering our culture, it is a difficult thing to discuss. For us Africans, the issue of sex is sacrosanct; things that are divine, you don’t just approach it anyhow. We don’t talk about it openly, but in the west, they talk about it anyhow.”
“One of the reasons why we don’t talk about sex anyhow here is because it is a source of procreation; from where life comes, thereby we need to protect it very well, so we have to be very careful about it.”
“If you don’t give them the right message about sex, they might be misled. But they need to be trained about sex at a particular age.”
“If sex education needs to be taught outside the home, it must be taught by the right person or else these children might be misled.”
“Parents should start giving their children sex education from Senior Secondary School 1 or because of what we are experiencing in this present dispensation, children should be taught from the age of 8 years old, because before that age, some children already know how to surf the internet and can be exposed to any corrupt content online.” – Rev. Fr. Godfrey Ozoogene