Let’s Talk-What is Your Perspective?

Let’s Talk

Seeing one thing from different perspective is constant, there is an adage in Yoruba that says “Everyone can’t sleep and face the same side” which literarily means that everyone cannot see one thing from the same perspective, they may try to see it the same way but they will have different view of it because their thinking is not the same way.

Just like 3 men that see the sky at a different time of the day will tell you their different perspective of it. The first man wakes up early in the morning and steps outside, he says, ”The sky is so clear and cold, I had to go back inside the house and drink hot tea and went back to bed again.”

The second man went out on a sunny afternoon, he said, “Chai, there’s a bit of cloud in the sky and the sun is so scorching, I need a chill drink, I went inside my house, opened my fridge and gulped down 3 chilled bottle water and stayed indoor.”

The third man went out at night and saw that everywhere was dark, he said, “Wao, I can’t walk in darkness, I need a lamp so that I can be able to walk at night, the weather is mixed up, just a few minutes ago, I felt heat and now, there is cool breeze blowing everywhere.”

These 3 different men have described the same sky in different ways, all of them are right, but if each person keeps encountering the same time every day, they might believe such is the day, the first man will believe the whole day is clear sky that is cold every day, the second man would  say that the whole day is so hot that you can barely walk inside the hot sun while the third man will believe that the whole day is dark so that you cannot walk  in it without carrying lamp.

If these 3 people meet, they may argue from now till eternity and concludes on what they’ve seen. But with the 4th person who has seen it all, morning, afternoon, evening, night, midnight, he is the only one that has experienced it all and can agree with the 3 men.

There is a saying that a man is like a moon that has his own dark side, but if the only side of a man that you see is his dark side ONLY, then you may get feedback from that dark side ONLY.

There was someone that was always frowning face at me, whenever I greet all her friends, they will answer me with smile, but she won’t, she answers me and every other person like we are quarreling, but I decided to look towards her other bright side, within a short time, we became the best of friends that everyone was asking me how I did it. That was a decade ago.

I have another similar experience recently, I thought she doesn’t smile, for a long time, I saw that I was wrong, I feel free to joke and laugh with how than others.

Talking about him/her, which part do you see? The good side or the bad side, remember, the side of someone that you see is the same side in which you will react to the person and that’s the same in which the person will give it back to you. Simply put, sow a smile, you will reap laughter, but sow sad face, you will reap sadness.

I want to assume that my father only saw one side of me, he never saw the second side of me because he never tries to really know me, he saw a different me that he would always beat at every slight offense and abuse me till I’ll cry and tears will dry off my eyes.

He never saw a boy that could be so brilliant that could do medicine, he forgot I was the same boy that led my class in my primary school classes, but due to some certain things, I became playful and he became tougher in beating me. But the moment I was through with secondary school, I fell in love with the same mathematics he had been teaching me for years which I never understood, then I understood it from another person who taught me without flogging me, my father saw only one side of me, but the other man saw the two sides.

Often times, we make the mistake of seeing only one side of a man, especially when he is doing something wrong and we believe he can’t do something right, whereas he can do better, all you need to do is bring out the good man in him.

In my interactions with several people, my eyes have opened to the fact that a particular person behaves differently to different people.

Peace was always jovial while discussing with me, becomes so comfortable with me, can discuss anything with me but becomes moody when Samuel comes around, why? She dislikes him and when Emeka comes around, she feels uncomfortable because Emeka is interested in touching her body just because he is interested in her, but she has no interest in him.

We went to the library to read, on our way home, she told me how she dislikes Samuel and how she would have loved to say yes to Michael if it were to be him that asked her out because Michael is gentle, easy-going, caring, loving and nice. But Samuel never stopped complaining of Peace’s snubbing him and her high level of disrespectfulness towards him.

In the end, I spoke with Peace to behave well towards Samuel and she did.

What you see is what you want to see, what is your perspective of yourself? What is your perspective of the people around you? What is your perspective of your spouse?

Remember, there is nothing that has only one side to it, there is nobody that has only one side, as a matter of fact, human beings have beyond one side, that is why they can change, you will see someone that mourns now, within a while, such person can still laugh and you would wonder whether it was the same person that you saw a few minutes ago.

Give everyone the benefit of doubt, even when you are doubting the benefits, look beyond the side that faces you, look the other side and you will get a different view.

There was a man and his wife were sitting opposite directions, then a man passed in between them wearing a cap, the wife said it was a red cap, the husband said it was a black cap, they kept on arguing until the man passed by again, this time, the argument changed, the wife said it was black and the husband said it was red, then they chased the man and looked at him properly and saw that the cap was two different colors, the 2 of them were right.

What is your perspective?


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