Friction is normal, but crisis management is a skill. No relationship is void of crisis. Not one. In every relationship such as marriage, there are financial, emotional, ideological, philosophical, cultural, behavioral and lifestyle crises. However, understanding the following and taking appropriate steps will make your relationship even stronger:
1. Tolerate: Tolerance is key. Exercise caution while discussing a new idea with your spouse (marriage and home) especially, where your spouse has not imbibed the same principles and concepts that have formed you. This is one of the reasons I advocate that couples should attend the same worship centers, seminars, listen to same message and do a lot together and in common. Otherwise, if a couple listens to different things, their house will become a place of two parallel teachings, which may not be ideal for the marriage and consequently the home.
2.Patience: I consider it funny and very interesting how easy it is for a partner to patiently teach and endure with friends, colleagues, members of staff, and others in the public, but struggle when it comes to showing the same virtue with their spouse. More often than not, we assume our spouse should know and understand. We lose patience with our spouse easily, expecting them to accept it whether it is convenient or not. Exercising a little patience and lot more with your spouse, children and family than you would with a stranger is better for peace and harmony to characterize your marriage.
3.Share: Deliberately share your dreams and aspirations with your spouse with a view to helping him or her better understand your aims and goals. Never assume your spouse knows and understands your thought process, intentions, vision, dream, work, business, pursuit, assignment, ministry, career or profession. When your spouse believes in you and your pursuit, moral support is easily found. Learning to share is a gradual process. Keep working at it. You will get there!
4. Motivate: Have you ever seen a good and skillful football (soccer) striker without supporting strikers? None! As a matter of fact, I opine that strikers are opportunists, who strategically position themselves waiting to be fed by the supporting strikers who labor tirelessly to feed the strikers. In the same vein, your spouse is your supporting striker. Sure there are exceptions, but many men and women of affluence and influence in the following areas – society, politics, business, and ministry often have a supportive and supporting spouse. Make your spouse a stakeholder and shareholder in your pursuit. Let him/her see what you see, reason with you and subscribe to your ideology and philosophy of life. It may be difficult but it is certainly not impossible. Take a conscious step to integrate and incorporate your spouse into your career, business, ministry, and pursuit.
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