‘It’s fine, I’m fine, don’t worry about it, there is no problem, I’m cool with it’
All these are common lies we tell all the time. Sometimes the replies we give when people ask how we are not always true. ‘I’m fine’ has become a cliché, a sort of anthem. But that’s not the only thing we lie about, not at all.
We also lie about how our feelings towards others. Many times, we have lied, replied ‘it’s alright, I have nothing against you’ when our heart is full of anger. We have said ‘I forgive you to our friends’ when we know sincerely that we are lying, that we didn’t forgive talk more of forgetting.
Bearing grudges is like being a Jailer and holding not just others but yourself prisoner. When you hold something against others, you are obviously holding them in jail. Borrowing Asa’s line in the song tilted Jailer, “I’m in chains, you are in chains too. I wear uniforms, you wear uniforms too. I’m a prisoner, you are a prisoner too Mr. Jailer”. So let me ask you. How many persons are you holding prisoner? One, two or more? How many did you keep locked away in the cells of your heart, bonded in chains?
Please don’t give me we forgive but don’t forget a line. Forgiving and still bitter is not forgiveness.
Is it forgiveness when you don’t talk to the person nor respond to his greeting? Is it forgiveness when you feel like throwing up whenever your paths cross with him or her?
Is it forgiveness when you get worked up at the mere sight of the person?
Of course that’s not forgiveness.
And that’s how we end up wreaking our lives, bearing grudges with every Tom, Dick, and Harry out there.
I know, calm down I really understand. They must have done some pretty bad stuff to you, hurt you, betrayed your trust perhaps or even stabbed you at the back. Come on! I know all that, humans are species with flaws. We mess things up with others, sometimes intentionally and other times not.
You as an imperfect human has one time or another hurt others too. So why would you refuse to let others people’s mistakes slide? Obviously you are in prison too when you bear grudges. You are also a victim of your anger. Both of you are obviously wearing a uniform, uniform of hurt of pain and anger.
Most of us are Christians. I’m sure the Holy book while speaking on forgiveness urged us not to bear grudges against others. Don’t be a Christian who is not really a Christian. Don’t be threatening one who preaches what he doesn’t practice. Your actions show who you really are. Even the scripture says ‘do not be just a hearer of the word but also a doer’. On a more practical level, how many times have you gone against the commandments of God today? If you start counting what number is going to likely be? Ooh, don’t bother, I’m sure you have lost count. If God bears grudges against us like we do others, do you think he would give us anything we ask of him?
So why not be like your creator? Why don’t you say it’s enough and open the gates of grudges in your heart? Why would you not want to set yourself free? You should lighten the weight you burdened yourself with. Some things are not just worth the stress and bearing grudges is one of those.
Perhaps it’s time to break free, to set yourself lose. Remember that true freedom can only be achieved when you release your prisoner(s). Those grudges you have been bearing for ages, those anger you have kept bottled up in your heart, it’s time to release them unless you love the bondage, then… enjoy the ride.
Depriving yourself good sleep over another’s flaw, giving anger a furnished space in your heart, a comfortable apartment, even providing food and drinks is not what you need in this life.
Life is short. You could drop dead anytime. There is no award or medal for the best in bearing grudges or the person with the highest number of prisoners. No one is ready to give you a dime. So what’s really the essence?
I wouldn’t know about you but I love sleep and peace of mind. Most people do, so I see no reason for you to lose good sleep watching over prisoners lest they make an escape. Release your prisoners if you are holding any and please don’t take new ones, it doesn’t pay.
For the records, none of us is leaving here alive!