It’s the season. At every corner, you hear wedding bells ringing nonstop. The social media is dripping with pre-wedding pictures of different couples striking distinct poses and dressed in colourful matching outfits. It’s…beautiful!
While children are harassing their parents for Christmas clothes, most young girls are running about getting ready to slay as asoebi for one or more friends this season (including me). This brings me to the question, have you bought my asoebi cloth? If you haven’t, do contact me to get yours. Hey guys, it’s not limited to the ladies, you all can buy.I want to have both male and female asoebis in my train, something different no one has ever done before. *smiles*. Anyways, I’m telling you on-time so that you will start saving your money for it cos I ain’t getting married yet.
Don’t drop the paper yet, stay with me…
Recently I was having a discussion with my coursemates. The first wedding in my class is happening in few weeks time. Preparations are being made on how to attend. I came online on a beautiful day the Lord blessed to see that I have been added to a group chat of 48 beautiful female participants tagged ‘Asoebi girls 2020’. They are all my classmates. Wow! I could not leave the group without finding out what’s going on (I haven’t left still). The group is for the wedding of my coursemate who does not mind having as many girls as possible in her bridal train. Soon enough a picture of the supposed cloth for the asoebi was posted in the group. Another picture of the style was also posted. The material cost is six thousand naira, then you meet your tailor, show him and her the style and pay for the sewing. Again you have to make your hair, buy heels and other things like makeup, nails, amongst others.
While discussing with my classmates, one said that the asoebi is cheap aside the fact that most of the girls are students and may not have money for much expenses. According to her, she wants to get married when our coursemates have probably started working so that even if her asoebi cloth is fifty thousand, no one would hesitate to buy it (that was a joke). So after the affirmations by those around, I told them that even if I have billions in my account, I would rather throw fifty thousand naira away or dash it to someone who needs it than to use it and buy asoebi cloth (now, that was not a joke).
When I was younger people saw doing asoebi for friends for what it was, a favour. But today, I do not know how we see it anymore, an opportunity of husband hunting? Previously, when a bride wants to get married, she buys the clothing material that she likes in the market, gives to her tailor and sends her bridesmaids to go to the tailor for their measurements to be taken. All the bridesmaids need to worry about is their hair and probably footwear.
However, in this one and twenty century, everything has been turned upside down. Brides do not see ‘asoebi’ as their friends doing a favour for them rather they see it as them doing a huge favour for all the girls in their bridal train. We all know that if you are getting married and your friends refuse to do asoebi for you that it’s your loss, you are the person who is going to match down the aisle without a train of beautiful girls. So why saddle them with exorbitant expenses. It’s alarming the way we misplace our priorities. Some girls borrow money they do not have to do asoebi for their friends. They go extra mile just to join in the bridal train. Aside asoebi clothes, bridal shower (though a misunderstood concept) has become another wedding activity that asoebis’ spend money on. The girls have to buy the necessary dress(es) needed for he shower.
Some will come up with the thoughts that after the wedding, it is still the girls that will take the clothes and not the bride. I agree. I’m not saying that girls should not make expenses while doing asoebi for their friends, they should contribute too but not excessively. If you as the bride handles the clothing part, they will handle the hair and heels part. The bride can also go for less expensive materials buy them and give to the bridesmaids who will take care of the sewing and other things. The bride has to contribute and so does the bridesmaids. Moreover, some of the styles which asoebi dresses are sewed are most times unique that wearing to church or other places will make you look overdressed for the occasion.
Hold on, whoever told our girls that they have to do asoebi in other to be the next to get married? Some brides tell their friends ‘you should be happy I put you in my bridal train, let’s know if you will sell ‘. Dear girl, you are not a market, you are a human. Do not stress yourself to be part of a bridal train whose expenses will cripple you. You may just be seated down at the wedding reception at a guest and still meet the man of your dreams. Do not let the thoughts of getting married push you to exorbitant spending which you are not ready for.
There is no written law on the number of times a girl must be a bridesmaid before getting married. Do the one you can and leave the rest. Do not run into debts. Bridesmade or not, you will definitely be a bride someday!
Remember, none of us is leaving here alive!