Let’s Talk-Finding Love Again

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It was exactly a year ago that hell was let loose, I was heartbroken, left alone, deserted, rejected and dejected, I felt all was over, debt set in and I forgot the only One that has been there for me all these while, in good and in bad times, during the life’s ups and downs, but I focused on the one that just left me here and forgot the One from above that has been watching over me day and night.

The year was left with a few days before I was able to recover from the depression, my neighbour sang praises, I joined and that was how my burden was lifted off my head, I was relieved of the pains and sorrows that swallowed me up.

I can love and be loved, but I couldn’t bear it to love easily because to heal my wounded heart tarried so long that I found it difficult to love again.

The road to finding love again was terrifying that I wondered what the future upholds for me and my future woman, I was scared of the unknown, I’ve invested all I had in my last relationship, I felt I couldn’t love again, what’s left of me was fragment that I had to pick up to move on.

Will I find love again? I thought deeply, but God assured me that I’ll. In my hurriedness to find love, I found none and came back to discover the real me and I made sure that I affected myself while waiting earnestly for her. This is from the diary of a broken hearted… that got healed after a short while.

While waiting to find love, you have to prepare yourself and make sure that you avail yourself to be found also, don’t chase people away while trying to find love, be friendly and lovely.

Discover the real you.

After your relationship ends, either a break up or agreed separation, you need to step back and re-examine you. Before you can determine if you’re compatible with someone, you need to know who you really are.

Your past relationship probably shaped your preferences and personality in some ways. No doubt you compromised, changed and accepted certain traits.

As Orbuch writes in her book, “Singles who find a long-lasting, successful partnership have one trait in common: they put the focus on who they are and what they want, rather than worrying about what others will think.”

To find out who you are, define your key life values. What matters most to you? For instance, how important is faith, your job or your health?

Let go of your ex.

Have you really let go of your ex and moved on from your breakup?

If you haven’t let go, you’re not going to find love. From the diary of the brokenhearted, he held unto his ex for a long time that he wasn’t sure whether he made the right choice, he though at intervals that she was going to call him and come back to meet him and they would start from where they stopped, especially, when it was taking him longer time to find love.

But when he let go of his ex, few months after, he found love and loved her stronger, better and they finally got married, with God, they lived happily ever after.

Let go of your ex, whatever grudges you have against him/her, let go, if you love him/her so much that you cant let them go, make sure you pray for strength to let go and God will help you and if you have anything against them, so that you won’t be bitter against yourself and the other person, you have to let go.

Don’t date people just because they’re the exact opposite of your ex.

When you go through a devastating breakup, you convince yourself that you’ll never date someone like your ex ever again! You’ll vow, “I’m going for someone totally different than my ex!” you may be making a wrong decision, follow your heart and not the bitterness.

Say “No” to relationships that are a waste of your time (and theirs).

It’s hard to say “no.” We don’t like hurting people’s feelings and letting people down, so we say “yes” to things we shouldn’t. Then we kick ourselves afterward for not having had the guts to say “no.”

Still from the diary of the broken heart, he met a lady while trying to find love, they loved each other, in fact, he was her first love, but she couldn’t marry him, she just wanted him to be her boyfriend, she was from a different tribe while he was and her parent wouldn’t allow her to get married from someone else outside her tribe, but she still want to keep him, he had to tell her that they need to call it quit, since it wasn’t gonna end well between the two of them, to save them from hurting each other, he advised they end it earlier, which they did.

When we delay our “Nos” we’re wasting our time and the other person’s time. We go a year plus being with people who we’re really not interested in, but we just can’t tell them the words, “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be with you.” Instead, we draw it out into a painful process of indecision, stress, and fear.

How do you say “no” to someone you’re not interested in continuing dating?

You say, “I’m sorry, but I know what I’m looking for in a partner and you’re not that person.” Or you tell the person that “I’m expecting us to get married, but you said you cannot marry me at all, I’m sorry, we have to call it quit.”

Improve yourself.

No matter how many self-help books and articles that you’ve read, we all have blind spots and weaknesses.

After my last breakup, I realized I needed to work on some things. I reflected on my choices in my last relationship and how to handle such choices in my present relationship. I got clear on my core values. I worked on my ability to communicate my feelings.

Find Love

The bible says he who finds a wife has found a good thing. As a man, go out and find love, and as a woman, when you are ready to find love again, go out so that you’ll be found, nobody will come and locate you in your house just like that, there are exceptions where your love will come and find you at home where you are, but they are rare.

If you’re ready to find someone new, you have to go out and find them.

It drives me a tad crazy when people say, “I want to find love, but if it happens it happens. I’m not going to go out looking for it! I’ll let things just unfold by itself.”

Are you for real? When was the last time something that made your life better came to you while you were sitting around doing nothing?

If you want to find love, go out there and look for it!

As you begin this year 2020, in whatever aspect that you need to find love, I pray that you will find love in Jesus name, Amen.

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