Era of Single Parenthood


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By Akindoyin Aanuoluwapo

There are lots of factors that can cause a woman to be pregnant out of wedlock, but the main factor that can cause pregnancy out of wedlock is when a woman or lady has premarital unprotected sex.

In the beginning, fornication: sex before marriage is a sin, the act being common in this 21st century doesn’t not make it right. God condemned it then and He is still condemns it now.

Premarital sex can cause lots of things; STDs, HIV/AIDS, infections, shame, depression, inferiority complex, it can also cause a lady to become a nymphomaniac (A woman with abnormal sexual desires), death (there had been stories of men and women who died in the process of having premarital sex, it can also lead to unwanted pregnancy.

Since this pregnancy is called ‘unwanted’, because the two people involved just performed the act out of wedlock, not prepared to neither be a father nor mother, but they performed the act for the pleasure in it and then the consequence dawned on them; the baby.

There are some that did it ignorantly and never knew such act can lead to unwanted pregnancy, probably because they were deceived into the act by the boy and since they lack sex education, they fell for the trick; the guy will have his way and leave the girl in a dilemma of carrying pregnancy.

Some girls out of shame will run to their peers to look for solution and then opt for the other sin of committing an abortion, not minding one of the Ten Commandments, which says, ‘Thou shall not kill” they’ll abort the life of the foetus whom they brought to life deliberately, but they always call it ‘mistake’. I don’t call it mistake, because it has been an output of their act that brought the ‘baby’, not ‘mistake’.

There are times that rape victims are ignorant of the fact that they can report such incidents in the hospital and the semen that causes pregnancy will be washed away, some out of shame keep quiet and the result will be shown weeks later by symptoms of pregnancy, only for such victim to find out that she has become an expectant mother. If it is reported in the hospital early, doctors treat the lady and she’ll be clean of infections and pregnancy.

Hmmmnnnn, I doff my hat for those that admitted to the sin of fornication, sought for forgiveness from God and decided to face the consequences, inasmuch as I’m not in support of the act that led to the pregnancy, I salute them for keeping the pregnancy and not aborting it.

Most of those that decided to leave the pregnancy are not married to the boy, young man or man as the case may be, since that was not their intention when performing the act, the girl, lady or the woman after giving birth to the child out of wedlock, which normally lead to single parenthood.

There are divorce cases where the parents divorce after giving birth to children; they discover one or two things about each other, and they opt for divorce, and one of them becomes single parent. While there are widows who have decided not to marry again, but remain single; they become also single parents

Let’s Talk about ‘Era of Single Parenthood’, causes and challenges of single parents and how it affects the society.

Single parenthood is a situation whereby a parent brings up a child or children alone without a partner.

Hundreds of years back, when our forefathers existed, parenting approach was completely different. There is a phrase that says “it takes a village to raise a child,” which is quite accurate. Then, the child used to be nurtured by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and close families. With time and modernization, the ‘village’ shrank, and it still continues to disappear.

According to research, these are the causes of Single Parenthood,

Unintended/ Unwanted Pregnancy: This tops the most on the list, because over 50% of single parent is as a result of unintended/unwanted pregnancy. Although a few pregnancy out of wedlock are intentional to achieve a result, but majority is unintentional and unwanted as a result. The rate of unintended pregnancy is higher among unmarried couples than among married ones

Divorce: Married couples with children are prone to become single parent after finalizing divorce. Parents are likely to share the children after divorce or are likely to fight for who takes custody of the child(ren).

Death of a partner: Death of a partner is a common cause of single parenting. At certain times war may also deprive significant numbers of families of their parents.

Being a single parent comes with some troubles, since couples who are married and are together support each other, single parent faces enormous challenges in hi/her quest to get support .

Financial Troubles: Most single parents work long hours to meet the financial needs of the family. Some have to do more than one work to support the children’s welfare. Since it is necessary to run the household and raise the children. There may be chances when they have to deny their kids from their requirements. Children of single parents may not be able to take the opportunities to enjoy some certain things due to financial incapability of the single parent.

Low Parenting Quality: The way a single parent will train a child is likely to be poor, not because he/she cannot, but because of much responsibility in providing for the children and herself. Because the single parents have to work overtime, he/she may miss the child’s important school functions.

He/she may not be able to adequately attend to the child morally, psychologically and socially. And this may affect the upbringing of the child.

Bad memories: If the reason of becoming a single parent is divorce, when the other partner stops looking out after the children, the children may suffer resentment, there are chances that they still hold on to bad memories of their parent’s divorce which may have adverse effect on the way they see the opposite sex, it may affect them academically, socially, morally and psychologically.

Emotional Problems: Single parent children are likely to suffer from self-esteem problems. They may crave for affection, which they will not get enough because of the parent’s busy schedule.

This may make them expect little or nothing in their relationships later in life. They will take all the blame for their living conditions.

Loneliness: It is another challenge most single parents face. They will not only be able to share their difficulties with their spouse but also cannot share their joys as well.

Adjustment Difficulties: Children will also face the issues along with their single parents. There may be a sense of loss, poverty and continuous exposure to parental arguments. While the parent’s sense of loss is because of the missing spouse, a child’s loss will be a guide or a protector. It will be tougher for children at their young age.

Single parenthood cannot be eradicated, but it can be reduced. Couples can only be counseled to avoid divorce, they cannot be forced to remain in their marriages mostly as death is inevitable, single parenthood will continue to exist.

Since single parenthood is characterized by unmarried single parent, it can and should be reduced by unmarried people by abstaining from premarital sex. Ladies should also avoid putting themselves in situations that will warrant a man to forcefully take advantage of them.

Total abstinence is the key to avoid having unintended or unwanted pregnancy, especially by single ladies and single men.

What are other ways in which single parenthood can be reduced?

Are you a single parent? How do you cope with Single parenthood?

If you would like to share your experience as a Single parent, feel free to do so.

ere Told


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