I’m not a nice person. I actually hate it when people call me nice. I correct them and tell them how terrible I am. And honestly I really am terrible. I switch moods like one removes a clothing, I don’t know how to mince words, I say it the way I feel especially to people I’m comfortable with. I can be vulgar sometimes. I’m insultive,(in a joking manner though), my friends can testify. So I don’t like being called a good girl or nice girl or “you-are-doing-well girl”. This is because I hate expectations. When people start saying you a nice person, they have expectations they expect from you; how they want you to do things, how they want you to talk, how they want you to behave, and so on. So if you don’t do it the way they expect you to, they become disappointed. When people place me on a high pedestal, I literally climb down because “I’m terrified to let you down”.
When I started this column I wanted to call it “Dairy of a Crazy girl” but considering this is a church newspaper, I reconsidered and changes it to “Tales from a MerCuriAl mind”, that too was not satisfying so I choose “Tales Corner” simple and understandable. The plan was to make this my personal space where I shared my experiences with you dear Reader, where I tell you about the experiences of others too in every aspect of life. Of course, learning from an experienced person is the beat teacher. But somehow I felt unready and there were restrictions to contents I could put out here (the restrictions were created by me). So along the way, I lost my reasons for starting this column. I wanted to write from my heart. I wanted to relate with others, to affect people, to connect with others, to touch lives, to grow, to learn from others, to communicate to share my thoughts, to bare my heart, to be… Me.
You may be wondering why I’m acting all emotional right now but this lock down has really taken a toll on me (and you) probably. There are some who are stuck in their less productive environment. There are others who are in abusive marriage: daily they receive dozen beatings from their spouse unlike before the lock down. Daily it rains punches and their faces have become colours of rainbow. There are people stuck with a nagging partner, trust me their ears have wounds caused by the so much words they have heard. There are people who cannot afford three square meals a day, they have cut down to two because of the lock down. Though, it has been relaxed or set to be relaxed. There are some who have eaten and are tired of it. They keep hearing you have added weight till their eardrum complain in bitter anger. They are children who have become more exposed to the prying eyes of sexual abusers.
We all had plan before the whole coronavirus thing. It’s sad to watch all your plans slip through your fingers like they mean nothing. I for one had great plans this year. I recently started up an NGO with the name Girl’s Focus (from the name, I guess you already know what it’s about). So we had plans for May, 28th is the World Menstrual Hygiene Day, we planned to get reusable pads and share to young girls who cannot afford it; to start small and grow. But, seema like I will watch May pass me by the same way April did. 30th of April was supposed to be my project defence, I haven’t even finished writing it, life is literally on hold.
It’s sad watching this happen. No one prepared us for this 2020. We all kept shouting 2020 is my year. This is not like a movie where you will say cut and continue after making a few changes, this is real.
But Darling, this is not the end. Plans put on hold doesn’t mean they are dead yet. The activity on top of our to-do list is to come out of this pandemic alive and healthy. Then, the goals and the plans will come running to us shouting we made it. I know how difficult it is. If you are in a place of pain, of hurt, of uncertainty, of delayed plans, if you are in a less productive environment, stay calm. This too will pass. We will come out of this alive. If you can enroll for online classes, cool. They are free classes which I took part in. You can check Goggle. They are others your have to pay for, honey knowledge is expensive. So pay for the ones that require payment. If you don’t have the money it’s fine. I have a scriptwriting class I was supposed to take part in but couldn’t because of payment. So do the ones you can for now. Everything will definitely turn out beautiful.
I hope you Stay safe this period. Follow the World Health Organisation guidelines; wash your hands always, avoid crowded places, don’t touch your face with your hand, and avoid touching surfaces with your hand, use sanitizer also. Don’t join people that claim there is no coronavirus in Nigeria. Two cases have been confirmed in Ebonyi. If you get this virus as a Nigerian, the fight is between your immune system and the virus, the government of Nigeria can’t save you. Stay healthy.
Meanwhile, the phone number up there is for a reason, I want to know your thoughts and reviews of whatever content I put out here. SMS is even free now self, lol. So drop one honey and I will definitely reply. I appreciate everyone who at one time or another have called, or dropped SMS to commend and encourage. You are the reason I still write, the reason I still maintain this column. I love you all. Sending you hugs and kisses.
Remember, none of us is leaving here alive.