Still with Rev. Fr. Dr. Ukoro Theophilus Igwe, the famous one time and again rector of Bigard Memorial Seminary, Enugu; who also, until his sabbatical had been a formator in Pope JohnPaul II Major Seminary, Okpuno, Awka; one who has had a personal experience of what it means to be a priest and a co-victim, in the order of the New Testament priesthood. This week, we shall look through Fr’s moments of discernment of his vocation. Fr will also tell us how he handled his moments of vocation crisis and how the grace of God upheld and sustained him. Read and get inspired!
VOCATIONS STORY – With Jerome C. Egbe
Every Vocation To The Catholic Priesthood Has Its Moment Of Discernment. Do You Mind Sharing Yours And Possibly Discuss How Best One Can Discern His Vocation?
I think, in life, one needs to be convinced of the guiding hand of God in one’s life, that you may keep following. Having had the opportunity of living with this priest, I didn’t have any serious doubt. In fact, I can begin to say that the first discernment was when we finished secondary school but had not our WAEC results yet, and I was already posted to go and do my one year apostolic work at SASCO. The result was released very late in November. As at June, stories were being circulated that maybe they had cancelled the result. I had to register with the present class 5 that year to take another WAEC because ours was being delayed. And my prayer point then was that if I passed very well, I will God is calling me. And behold, when the results came out, I passed very well. I had grade one and then I was convinced God was calling me. And when we were going into the senior seminary, nobody told us anything about degree. It was when we arrived that they said if you do not have up to 5 credits plus English in one sitting, you will not take degree. And more than half of my classmates left that time because they were not qualified. And I said again “God is calling me”, because I didn’t plan well ahead of time, but all these things were just things showing me that God was calling me.
Was There Any Time You Had Vocation Crisis?
Yes, several times; even now as a priest. The most prominent was when I finished Philosophy in 1982, I lost every interest. I made a decision to leave the seminary. But there was a priest from my home, a monk in Ohum. He was ordained in 1980, after which he went to US for further studies. He came back in 1982, and somebody told me that that priest was asking after me, and they said he will tell me to visit him. I found it fitting to tell him, the first priest from Ezza before I leave. And that is why I went to Ohum monastery to tell him I was going to leave, that I had no more interest.
Amazingly, I was not able to see the priest until after vespers, even though I arrived early enough, because I didn’t know how to contact him. Eventually, when he came to see me, he was so happy; they had told him that I was waiting for him. He stayed long before coming to see me, and he came out with big pile of books, with key. He took me to the guest house and placed the books on the table, guided me to the refectory to eat, and asked me to wait, that he would see me after compline.
That night, I had a certain joy of being a seminarian. I was happy that I’m a part of the Church. I stayed in the monastery for 11 days. The first book I read out of the books Father brought to me was the autobiography of Fulton J. Sheen called “Treasure in Clay”. When I finished reading the book, peace descended on me. But what surprised me was that I didn’t plan to stay one day but I stayed 11 days. I just said said let me go and tell him and go. And for those 11 days, I forgot why I came. I started feeling happy, enjoying being a Christian. That was how the crisis ended. He was the one who later took me to the seminary to start theology.
But later on, in my Theology two, I got disinterested again. There came a term paper that we had to write. In that term paper, I said I was going to write something that would make them withdraw me from the seminary. I decided to write on Atheism. There was a very brilliant and highly educated formator, Fr Eugene Uzoukwu CSSp, I requested him to be my moderator and he accepted.
In that theology two, I was the chief procurator. One day, we went out to buy food stuffs at Agbor, across the Niger. We came back and I thought I had missed the man’s lecture for the day, only to discover that the lecture was postponed to evening. That evening during the lecture, the man praised one of the term papers, praised the academic quality of the term paper. And people were curious to know who that could be. At the end, the priest mentioned my name. I thought it was a joke because, the reason I chose to write on atheism was so that they would say… this man is off. But instead, he praised the work.
After that, I told myself, God is calling me. Instead of being withdrawn for writing on atheism, I was praised for academic excellence. And with that, the crisis died out that time as a seminarian. To be continued